1. Police arrested a drunkard & askd: Where r u goin?
Man: I'm goin 2 listen lecture on ill effcts of drinking.
Cop: Who'll lecture at midnite?
Man: My wife...
2. Law Professor: Which is the most important LAW of Finance for Starting a New Business
Student: Father-in-Law!
3. Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
4. What's the biggest pressure for Pak captain when Pak needs 1 run to win in 8 ovrs, with 5 wickets in hand?
Ya Allah! How to speak English in presentation ceremony?
5. Beggar: Saab 12Rs do na coffee peeni hai.
Man: Lekin coffee to 6Rs ki hai?
Beggar: Par saab girlfrend bhi to hai.
Man: Bhikari hokar bhi GF banali.
Beggar: Na saab,GF ne Bhikari bana diya!
6. Q: Why do women live longer than men?
A: Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bill does!
7. Q: Wats the diff between Complete & Finished?
A: If you find good wife u r complete otherwise u r finished.
8. So many options: Poison, sleeping pills, hanging, jumping from a building, lying on train tracks, but we chose Marriage, slow and sure!
9. Have u heard about the man who threw his wife into a pond of crocodiles?
He's now being harassed by the animal rights for being cruel to the crocodiles.
10. Two men r talking.
1st: I got married coz I was tired of eating out, cleaning the house, doing the laundry & wearing shabby clothes.
2nd: Amazing, I just got divorced for the very same reasons
11.Wife: If I dismiss the cook and make the food myself for a month, what will you pay me?
Husband: I won't have to pay you, you'll get my entire insurance amount.
Friday, April 17, 2009
WHAT IS A FRIEND?
Your Heart is your Love,
Your love is your Family ,
Your family is your Future ,
Your future is your Destiny ,
Your destiny is your Ambition,
Your ambition is your Aspiration ,
Your aspiration is your Motivation ,
Your motivation is your Belief ,
Your belief is your Peace ,
Your peace is your Target ,
Your target is Heaven,
Heaven is no fun without FRIENDS
Your love is your Family ,
Your family is your Future ,
Your future is your Destiny ,
Your destiny is your Ambition,
Your ambition is your Aspiration ,
Your aspiration is your Motivation ,
Your motivation is your Belief ,
Your belief is your Peace ,
Your peace is your Target ,
Your target is Heaven,
Heaven is no fun without FRIENDS
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
CRICKET
Most runs in ODIs AS ON 05.04.2009
Name Matches Runs Ave 100 50
Sachin Tendulkar 425 16684 44.37 43 91
Sanath Jayasuriya 432 13151 32.71 28 67
Inzamam-ul-Haq 378 11739 39.52 10 83
Ricky Ponting 311 11402 42.70 26 66
Sourav Ganguly 311 11363 41.02 22 72
Rahul Dravid 333 10585 39.49 12 81
Brian Lara 299 10405 40.48 19 63
JH Kallis 287 10057 45.30 16 71
Adam Gilchrist 287 9619 36.89 16 55
M Azharuddin 334 9378 36.92 7 58
Name Matches Runs Ave 100 50
Sachin Tendulkar 425 16684 44.37 43 91
Sanath Jayasuriya 432 13151 32.71 28 67
Inzamam-ul-Haq 378 11739 39.52 10 83
Ricky Ponting 311 11402 42.70 26 66
Sourav Ganguly 311 11363 41.02 22 72
Rahul Dravid 333 10585 39.49 12 81
Brian Lara 299 10405 40.48 19 63
JH Kallis 287 10057 45.30 16 71
Adam Gilchrist 287 9619 36.89 16 55
M Azharuddin 334 9378 36.92 7 58
COCONUT WATER
'It's a natural isotonic beverage, with the same level of electrolytic balance as we have in our blood. It's the fluid of life, so to speak. During the Pacific War of 1941-45, both sides in the conflict regularly used coconut water - siphoned directly from the nut - to give emergency plasma transfusions to wounded soldiers. Most coconut water is still consumed fresh in tropical coastal areas once exposed to air, the liquid rapidly loses most of its organoleptic and nutritional characteristics, and begins to ferment.
Coconut Water is More Nutritious than whole milk Less fat and NO cholesterol.
Coconut Water is More Healthy than Orange Juice - Much lower calories.
Coconut Water is Better than processed baby milk. It contains lauric acid, which is present in human mother's milk.
Coconut water is naturally sterile Water permeates though the filtering husk
Coconut water is a universal donor Its identical to human blood plasma
Coconut water is the very stuff of Nature, biologically Pure, full of Natural Sugars, Salts, and Vitamins to ward off fatigue... and is the next wave of energy drinks but natural.
According to Mortin Satin, Chief of the United Nation's Food & Agriculture Organization- Coconut water contains more potassium (at about 294 mg) than most sports drinks (117 mg) Coconut water has less sodium (25mg) where sports drinks have around 41mg and energy drinks have about 200mg.
Coconut water has 5mg of Natural Sugars where sports and energy drinks range from 10-25mg of Altered Sugars.
Coconut water is very high in Chloride at 118mg compared to sports drinks at about 39mg.
Data is based on a 100ml drink
Coconut Water is More Nutritious than whole milk Less fat and NO cholesterol.
Coconut Water is More Healthy than Orange Juice - Much lower calories.
Coconut Water is Better than processed baby milk. It contains lauric acid, which is present in human mother's milk.
Coconut water is naturally sterile Water permeates though the filtering husk
Coconut water is a universal donor Its identical to human blood plasma
Coconut water is the very stuff of Nature, biologically Pure, full of Natural Sugars, Salts, and Vitamins to ward off fatigue... and is the next wave of energy drinks but natural.
According to Mortin Satin, Chief of the United Nation's Food & Agriculture Organization- Coconut water contains more potassium (at about 294 mg) than most sports drinks (117 mg) Coconut water has less sodium (25mg) where sports drinks have around 41mg and energy drinks have about 200mg.
Coconut water has 5mg of Natural Sugars where sports and energy drinks range from 10-25mg of Altered Sugars.
Coconut water is very high in Chloride at 118mg compared to sports drinks at about 39mg.
Data is based on a 100ml drink
TAXES
1. What are you doing----- Business----- PAY PROFESSIONAL TAX
2. What are you doing in Business?----- Selling the Goods-----PAY SALES TAX
3. From where are you getting Goods?------From other State/Abroad-------- PAY CENTRAL SALES TAX, CUSTOM DUTY & OCTROI
4. What are you getting in Selling Goods? ------Profit------ PAY INCOME TAX
5. How do you distribute profit?--------By way of dividend--------Pay dividend Tax
6. Where you Manufacturing the Goods?------Factory -------PAY EXCISE DUTY
7. Do you have Office / Warehouse/ Factory?-------Yes------PAY MUNICIPAL & FIRE TAX
8. Do you have Staff?--------Yes----------PAY STAFF PROFESSIONAL TAX
9. Doing business in Millions?--------Yes---------PAY TURNOVER TAX-------No------Then pay Minimum Alternate Tax
10. Are you taking out over 25,000 Cash from Bank?-------Yes, for Salary------PAY CASH HANDLING TAX
11. Where are you taking your client for Lunch & Dinner?---------Hotel-----------PAY FOOD & ENTERTAINMENT TAX
12. Are you going Out of Station for Business?----------Yes--------PAY FRINGE BENEFIT TAX >>13) 13. Have you taken or given any Service/s?--------Yes---------PAY SERVICE TAX
14. How come you got such a Big Amount?----------Gift on birthday------- PAY GIFT TAX
15. Do you have any Wealth?--------Yes----------PAY WEALTH TAX
16. To reduce Tension, for entertainment, where are you going?----------Cinema or Resort---------- PAY ENTERTAINMENT TAX
17. Have you purchased House?--------Yes--------PAY STAMP DUTY & REGISTRATION FEE
18. How you Travel?-----------Bus---------PAY SURCHARGE
19. Any Additional Tax?--------------Yes----------PAY EDUCATIONAL, ADDITIONAL EDUCATIONAL & SURCHARGE ON ALL THE>CENTRAL GOVT.'s TAX
20. Delayed any time Paying Any Tax?--------------Yes---------- PAY INTEREST & PENALTY
21. Do you wish to cross the bridge while go back home?-----------Yes--------PAY TOLL
22. INDIAN :: can i die now??----------Please wait we are about to launch the funeral tax!!!
2. What are you doing in Business?----- Selling the Goods-----PAY SALES TAX
3. From where are you getting Goods?------From other State/Abroad-------- PAY CENTRAL SALES TAX, CUSTOM DUTY & OCTROI
4. What are you getting in Selling Goods? ------Profit------ PAY INCOME TAX
5. How do you distribute profit?--------By way of dividend--------Pay dividend Tax
6. Where you Manufacturing the Goods?------Factory -------PAY EXCISE DUTY
7. Do you have Office / Warehouse/ Factory?-------Yes------PAY MUNICIPAL & FIRE TAX
8. Do you have Staff?--------Yes----------PAY STAFF PROFESSIONAL TAX
9. Doing business in Millions?--------Yes---------PAY TURNOVER TAX-------No------Then pay Minimum Alternate Tax
10. Are you taking out over 25,000 Cash from Bank?-------Yes, for Salary------PAY CASH HANDLING TAX
11. Where are you taking your client for Lunch & Dinner?---------Hotel-----------PAY FOOD & ENTERTAINMENT TAX
12. Are you going Out of Station for Business?----------Yes--------PAY FRINGE BENEFIT TAX >>13) 13. Have you taken or given any Service/s?--------Yes---------PAY SERVICE TAX
14. How come you got such a Big Amount?----------Gift on birthday------- PAY GIFT TAX
15. Do you have any Wealth?--------Yes----------PAY WEALTH TAX
16. To reduce Tension, for entertainment, where are you going?----------Cinema or Resort---------- PAY ENTERTAINMENT TAX
17. Have you purchased House?--------Yes--------PAY STAMP DUTY & REGISTRATION FEE
18. How you Travel?-----------Bus---------PAY SURCHARGE
19. Any Additional Tax?--------------Yes----------PAY EDUCATIONAL, ADDITIONAL EDUCATIONAL & SURCHARGE ON ALL THE>CENTRAL GOVT.'s TAX
20. Delayed any time Paying Any Tax?--------------Yes---------- PAY INTEREST & PENALTY
21. Do you wish to cross the bridge while go back home?-----------Yes--------PAY TOLL
22. INDIAN :: can i die now??----------Please wait we are about to launch the funeral tax!!!
Thursday, April 2, 2009
My Result Day by Vaibhav
The most scaring day for a student in his school life is the result day. Results are always scaring, no matter whether a student is getting 1st rank or whether a student is failing. Results always give us nervousness. I have also not been able to escape from this nervousness. My final examination had ended a few days before and then we had our holidays. Starting of holidays was full of fun and enjoyment but as the date of 28th march was coming nearer, fun & enjoyment was been replaced by a scare for result. Although I was knowing that I had given a good performance but then also my heart was not at peace. At last, the day came. I woke up early as the whole night I was dreaming only about tomorrow. Then we went to school. I saw my friends there, who were enjoying. At the entrance only I got my result of final examination, as my name was written on the board but then also I was tensed about my total percentage. When we reached school, the students of 2nd class were being awarded and I had to wait a little till the turn of 8th class came. When principal ma’m called my name as the topper of my class, I felt very happy. Rest of the day was also very good. I played games on computer, completed all my works that I had left incomplete due to m exams. In evening I went to “Gauruv Tower” and enjoyed. Inspite of the nervousness, I came out successfully and got the gold medal and that is the only thing I want in my exams.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
The 10 biggest falls in Sensex history
Jan 21, 2008: The Sensex saw its highest ever loss of 1,408 points at the end of the session on Monday. The Sensex recovered to close at 17,605.40 after it tumbled to the day's low of 16,963.96, on high volatility as investors panicked following weak global cues amid fears of the US recession.
Jan 22, 2008: The Sensex saw its biggest intra-day fall on Tuesday when it hit a low of 15,332, down 2,273 points. However, it recovered losses and closed at a loss of 875 points at 16,730. The Nifty closed at 4,899 at a loss of 310 points. Trading was suspended for one hour at the Bombay Stock Exchange after the benchmark Sensex crashed to a low of 15,576.30 within minutes of opening, crossing the circuit limit of 10 per cent.
May 18, 2006: The Sensex registered a fall of 826 points (6.76 per cent) to close at 11,391, following heavy selling by FIIs, retail investors and a weakness in global markets. The Nifty crashed by 496.50 points (8.70%) points to close at 5,208.80 points.
Jan 22, 2008: The Sensex saw its biggest intra-day fall on Tuesday when it hit a low of 15,332, down 2,273 points. However, it recovered losses and closed at a loss of 875 points at 16,730. The Nifty closed at 4,899 at a loss of 310 points. Trading was suspended for one hour at the Bombay Stock Exchange after the benchmark Sensex crashed to a low of 15,576.30 within minutes of opening, crossing the circuit limit of 10 per cent.
May 18, 2006: The Sensex registered a fall of 826 points (6.76 per cent) to close at 11,391, following heavy selling by FIIs, retail investors and a weakness in global markets. The Nifty crashed by 496.50 points (8.70%) points to close at 5,208.80 points.
December 17, 2007: A heavy bout of selling in the late noon deals saw the index plunge to a low of 19,177 - down 856 points from the day's open. The Sensex finally ended with a huge loss of 769 points (3.8%) at 19,261. The NSE Nifty ended at 5,777, down 271 points.
October 18, 2007: Profit-taking in noon trades saw the index pare gains and slip into negative zone. The intensity of selling increased towards the closing bell, and the index tumbled all the way to a low of 17,771 - down 1,428 points from the day's high. The Sensex finally ended with a hefty loss of 717 points (3.8%) at 17,998. The Nifty lost 208 points to close at 5,351.
January 18, 2008: Unabated selling in the last one hour of trade saw the index tumble to a low of 18,930 - down 786 points from the day's high. The Sensex finally ended with a hefty loss of 687 points (3.5%) at 19,014. The index thus shed 8.7% (1,813 points) during the week. The NSE Nifty plunged 3.5% (208 points) to 5,705.
November 21, 2007: Mirroring weakness in other Asian markets, the Sensex saw relentless selling. The index tumbled to a low of 18,515 - down 766 points from the previous close. The Sensex finally ended with a loss of 678 points at 18,603. The Nifty lost 220 points to close at 5,561.
October 18, 2007: Profit-taking in noon trades saw the index pare gains and slip into negative zone. The intensity of selling increased towards the closing bell, and the index tumbled all the way to a low of 17,771 - down 1,428 points from the day's high. The Sensex finally ended with a hefty loss of 717 points (3.8%) at 17,998. The Nifty lost 208 points to close at 5,351.
January 18, 2008: Unabated selling in the last one hour of trade saw the index tumble to a low of 18,930 - down 786 points from the day's high. The Sensex finally ended with a hefty loss of 687 points (3.5%) at 19,014. The index thus shed 8.7% (1,813 points) during the week. The NSE Nifty plunged 3.5% (208 points) to 5,705.
November 21, 2007: Mirroring weakness in other Asian markets, the Sensex saw relentless selling. The index tumbled to a low of 18,515 - down 766 points from the previous close. The Sensex finally ended with a loss of 678 points at 18,603. The Nifty lost 220 points to close at 5,561.
August 16, 2007: The Sensex, after languishing over 500 points lower for most of the trading sesion, slipped again towards the close to a low of 14,345. The index finally ended with a hefty loss of 643 points at 14,358.
April 02, 2007: The Sensex opened with a huge negative gap of 260 points at 12,812 following the Reserve Bank of India decision to hike the cash reserve ratio and repo rate. Unabated selling, mainly in auto and banking stocks, saw the index drift to lower levels as the day progressed. The index tumbled to a low of 12,426 before finally settling with a hefty loss of 617 points (4.7%) at 12,455.
April 02, 2007: The Sensex opened with a huge negative gap of 260 points at 12,812 following the Reserve Bank of India decision to hike the cash reserve ratio and repo rate. Unabated selling, mainly in auto and banking stocks, saw the index drift to lower levels as the day progressed. The index tumbled to a low of 12,426 before finally settling with a hefty loss of 617 points (4.7%) at 12,455.
August 01, 2007: The Sensex opened with a negative gap of 207 points at 15,344 amid weak trends in the global market and slipped deeper into the red. Unabated selling across-the-board saw the index tumble to a low of 14,911. The Sensex finally ended with a hefty loss of 615 points at 14,936. The NSE Nifty ended at 4,346, down 183 points. This is the third biggest loss in absolute terms for the index.
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