Good Jokes....enjoy !!!

1. Police arrested a drunkard & askd: Where r u goin?
Man: I'm goin 2 listen lecture on ill effcts of drinking.
Cop: Who'll lecture at midnite?
Man: My wife...
2. Law Professor: Which is the most important LAW of Finance for Starting a New Business
Student: Father-in-Law!
3. Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
4. What's the biggest pressure for Pak captain when Pak needs 1 run to win in 8 ovrs, with 5 wickets in hand?
Ya Allah! How to speak English in presentation ceremony?
5. Beggar: Saab 12Rs do na coffee peeni hai.
Man: Lekin coffee to 6Rs ki hai?
Beggar: Par saab girlfrend bhi to hai.
Man: Bhikari hokar bhi GF banali.
Beggar: Na saab,GF ne Bhikari bana diya!
6. Q: Why do women live longer than men?
A: Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bill does!
7. Q: Wats the diff between Complete & Finished?
A: If you find good wife u r complete otherwise u r finished.
8. So many options: Poison, sleeping pills, hanging, jumping from a building, lying on train tracks, but we chose Marriage, slow and sure!
9. Have u heard about the man who threw his wife into a pond of crocodiles?
He's now being harassed by the animal rights for being cruel to the crocodiles.
10. Two men r talking.
1st: I got married coz I was tired of eating out, cleaning the house, doing the laundry & wearing shabby clothes.
2nd: Amazing, I just got divorced for the very same reasons
11.Wife: If I dismiss the cook and make the food myself for a month, what will you pay me?
Husband: I won't have to pay you, you'll get my entire insurance amount.

COOL PJs

1. A scientist disconnected his doorbell....... can u guess why???
Cos he wanted to win the No-bell prize!!!!!!!!!!
2. Who is the only Aussie cricketer who always smiles, even if he is declared out???
Hussey..............
3. What did the policeman say when he arrested Hussey???
Hussey to phasi !!!!
4. Ship tha..jisme bahut saare log the...usme ek chor bhi tha..ship iceberg se takra gayi or sab dhub gaye ...sirf chor bacch gaya batao kaise?
kyun ki chor ki daadhi me tinka tha..
dhubte hue ko tinka ka sahara mil gaya ...
or chor bachh gaya
5. Ek Kana Ladka Kisi ladki ko Prapose kare to kaun sa gana Gayega???????
Ek Nazar se b Pyar Hot a hai Maine suna Hai...............................................
6. Highly complicated PJ - wat wud an angrez say to his indian naukar who can only understand hindi if he wants him 2 open the door!!
"There Was A Cold Day "(say it fast)
7. What is the colour of frequency??
Purple
how ?? frequency ka unit hai Hz u can write it as 1/sec ie. par second in hindi second
is also caled as pal therefore
PARPAL
8. Sholay movie mai kis ka double role tha?
King George .coin ke dono side rehta hai
9. according to movie Sholay who is son of lion.............
HOLI Gabbar bolta hai na
holi cub hai cub hai holi (cub)