CORPORATE BHAGAWAD GEETHA

Hey PARTH,

Increment nahin mila, bura hua

Salary cut ho raha hai, bura ho raha hai

Retrenchment hoga, wo bhi bura hi hoga

Tum pichhla review na hone ka paschataap na karo

Tum agle review na hone ki chinta na karo

Recession chal raha hai...

Tumhare pocket se kyagaya jo tum rote ho ?

Tum company ke liye kya business laye the jo tumne kho diya ?

Tumne aisa kaun sa product banaya tha jo fail ho gaya ?

Tum koi experience le kar nahin aaye the...

Jo experience liya company se liya...

Jo project kiya company ke liye...

Degree le kar aaye, experience lekar chale jaoge...

Jo function aaj tumhara hai, Wo kal kisi aur ka tha...

parson kisi aur ka hoga...

Tum ise apna samajh kar kyon magan ho rahe ho

Hey Paarth, Yahi khushi tumhare tension ka kaaran hai...

Kyon wyarth tension lete ho, kis se wyarth darte ho

Kaun tumhein nikaal sakta hai ?

Policy change to company ka rule hai

Jise tum policy change kehte ho, woh to Management ki trick hai...

Ek pal mein tum Increment ke baare mein sochte ho

Doosre hi pal mein tum stipend par aa jate ho...

Review, increment etc. etc. sab mann se hataa do

Vichar se mita do, phir company tumhari hai, tum company ke ho...

Na yeh increment wagerah tumhare liye hain,

Na tum iske kabil ho, Parantu job secure hai,

aisa socho phir tumhein tension kyon hoga ?

Tum apne aap ko Company ko arpit kar do

Yahi sabse bada Golden Rule hai...

Jo is Golden Rule ko janta hai

Wo review, incentive, recession, retrenchment aadi

Bhramon se Sada sarvada muqt hai.

Chal UTH, Kaam Kar, Promotion Ki Chinta mat kar Parth..

Karm hi Tera Bhagya hai...

Marketing Lecture at IIM

1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" - That's Direct Marketing
2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says: "He's very rich. Marry him." - That's Advertising.
3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day, you call and say: "Hi, I'm very rich. Marry me." - That's Telemarketing.
4. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the door (of the car)for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her ride and then say:"By the way, I'm rich. Will you marry me?" - That's Public Relations 5. You're! at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says: "You are very rich! Can you marry ! me?" - That's Brand Recognition.
6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" She gives you a nice hard slap on your face. - That's Customer Feedback.
7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" And she introduces you to her husband. - That's demand and supply gap.
8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say anything, another person come and tell her: "I'm rich. Will you marry me?" and she goes with him - That's competition eating into your market share.
9. You see and gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say: "I'm rich Marry me!" your wife arrives. - That's restriction for entering new markets

How to ask your Boss for a salary increase ?

One day you send a letter to your boss asking for an increase in your salary !
Dear Bo$$,
In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company .
I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon.

Your$ $incerely,

The next day, you received this letter of reply :
Oh my dear,

I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet . NOw the newspaper are saying the world`s leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession. After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad. I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean.

Yours truly,